The fourth trimester can be one of the most special, sacred times of your life. As challenging as it is, it can also be beautifully profound, especially when you have proper support in place (it takes a village!). One important aspect to help ensure your enjoyment of the first few weeks/months after birth is to set boundaries for yourself and your family during this raw time. It’s also important to ask for help upfront from your tribe!
Your loved ones want to help. And they want to show you respect by giving you space when that’s what you want. But it’s challenging for them to this when they don’t know what you want! They’re not mind readers so we can’t expect everyone else to just “get it.” It’s up to us as parents to lay down expectations.
One super simple way to achieve both of these things, without even having to utter a single word aloud, is to make a front door sign for your home for postpartum visitors. I love love love this concept and truly encourage all families to do it!
What’s a front door sign?
It’s a note that you literally tape to your front door (or where ever makes sense) that welcomes in visitors by letting them know (in a loving and genuine way) how they can be of service during their visit. This note informs them how they can help you and sets any limitations you may desire about their visit to make sure that any visiting time is positive and restorative for you and your partner. Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries! This doesn’t make you unfriendly or ungrateful. It makes you clear and empowered.
In my opinion (and experience) giving people specific tasks they can help out with definitely makes it more likely those tasks will get done (and honey, even supermom needs all the help she can get during the fourth trimester). Asking people to help “load the dishwasher” or “take out the trash” is much more specific and actionable than “help out while you’re here.” And as we already said, your loved ones want to help out! They just don’t know what to do most of the time so it’s our job to inform them (if you want).
As a person who tends to avoid confrontation, I know it can feel a little weird asking people to do chores for you. But I swear, nobody will be offended, and some people will be stoked to have a clear way to support you when they come to visit.
I made a front door sign for my second postpartum (I learned after my first!), and I remember feeling like I was stepping a teeeeeny bit outside of my comfort zone in doing so. But you know what happened?— multiple people literally told me that they loved my front door note! They thought it was brilliant! My mother-in-law said that she was so happy to know what she could do to help. She said she had been wanting to help out with stuff when she came over before, but she didn’t want to overstep or bug me, so she was delighted to be given permission to help out in our home. (And she continued to help out with simple chores whenever she visited for many months)… MIND BLOWN!!! I mean come on, that’s a pretty incredible outcome from one door sign!
I hope you’re feeling inspired :) You don’t have to do this alone, you just gotta ask for help.
Want some inspiration with what to put on your door sign? Here are some examples.
Sample front door note:
Here was my note! (I slipped it inside of a clear document protector sleeve so it stayed up for several months)
“Hello loved ones,
Welcome! Thank you for coming to visit us and our new baby!
Please don’t right the doorbell— knock or text us that you are here.
This is a very special time for bonding and rest in our home.
Please help us prioritize rest!
You are also welcome to help out while you are here!!!
Here are a few tasks you could choose from while you’re visiting:
-Offer to bring us a snack or water
-Do a few dishes (or load/unload the dishwasher)
-Take out the trash (garbage bags are under the kitchen sink)
-Start a load of laundry
-Refill the water jug in our bedroom
-Make sure our cats have food + water, or scoop their box in the garage
-Bring in the mail
-Water house plants (there’s about one in every room!)
-Play with Koda in the backyard
THANK YOU!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!”
Here’s another example:
“Hello friends and family,
Thank you for coming to visit us as we welcome our new baby! Please understand that mama and papa may need some rest so short visits (20-30 minutes) are the perfect gift for us. If you’re looking for ways to help out, feel free to wash any dishes in the sink, make sure our kitty has water in his bowl, or bring mama and papa a glass of water. Thank you so much for your support as we navigate this time as a new family. We love you!”
Of course, make any tweaks to make it suit you!
Great job, mama! I’m so proud of you for advocating for yourself and your family to protect and honor the absolutely incredible time that is the fourth trimester.
Sending you some much love on your journey. xoxo
Have you done a door sign before or plan to do one now? Any other tips or ideas you would add? Share below!